I’d rather eat a deep-fried turd than say anything about myself, but I know these About pages are important. How else are we supposed to judge each other’s entire existence in under one minute?

I’m mostly a thoughtful and meticulously well-groomed type-A southerner with impeccable manners and aesthetics. The rest of the time I’m saying inappropriate things with my mouth, swearing and burping, and kicking around in flip-flops or Vans planning my escape from civilization.

I was raised by circus performers, drug smugglers and hippies.

I’m a Gemini. Everything is subject change except the following: I always wear lip gloss, have a liter of water with me, and chase ice cream trucks.

I live in a house with my fiance and a ten year-old girl who claims to be my daughter.

She is and she’s awesome.  Thanks to her, we have enough animals to qualify for farm subsidies, which is dumb because everything we own is white.

Being a mom is suuuper easy, so I work full-time as a senior finance person for a TV network to keep things interesting.

In my pretend life, I’m padding around on a yacht off the Amalfi coast wearing a tiny bikini and a giant black hat, clamoring to Dimitri and the boys about Valentino’s plans for the fall line while teaching my daughter how to fly a helicopter. In my real life, I’m checking homework, insisting on hand-written thank-you notes, and doing laundry.

I started this blog because I spend most days alone in an office buried in numbers. I prefer words and people. That’s where you come in:  I love reading your blogs.

I also like to write.  I do that here.

Some of my favorite things are words, design, architecture, fashion, travel, music, old photos, staying behind the camera, all things with engines, closet smoking, staying up too late, good craftsmanship, knowing there’s always a solution, being gracious, exhaling all the way, red meat, cheese, asking questions, going commando, algebraic expressions, ironing when I can’t sleep, hearing my girl’s laugh, and trusting that we’re all precisely where we’re supposed to be right this minute.

The next minute is totally up for grabs. Shit might get weird.

Fuck it.  I’m ready.

Thanks for stopping by.  Now get outta here and go do something useful.

Please, and thank you.

Contact:  info at mollytopia dot com


  1. Le Clown says:

    Why the fuck am I still the only one here? Sorry, I am from the North, and I have no manners.
    Le Clown

    • Hahaha – because I created the About page in March of 2010. It took me three years to actually write a post, and then four more months to add it to the menu on my blog. I updated it today because I’m making an effort to be more personable, and also because I finally realized it wouldn’t be a self-absorbed-dickhead post that went blasting out to the 800+ people who follow my foolishness. It’s just a page update and no one even knows it happened (sneaky, eh?). In any case, now it’s there just in case anyone new comes along and wants to know who I am.

  2. Me, me, me! I do! Although I’m a little concerned that perhaps you’re my long lost sister, or my doppleganger, I’m not sure which… but girl, I heart you.

    • I thought the same thing when I found your blog – soul sisters! I totally heart you too lady – thanks for stopping by and chiming in!

    • You are both pretty fucking awesome women. Were I not married or fat or small penised or have a crooked nose or three kids or smell like salami breath a lot or have hair growing where it shouldn’t on my head or too broke or too stupid, I’d totally stalk one of you.

  3. Hi Molly I’ve mentioned your world in a recent blog of mine.

  4. Thanks for following me! In love with your attitude!
    Another wildly inappropriate mama.

  5. Great ‘about’ page! Definitely more fun to read than eating a deep-fried turd 😉 Thanks for following my blog and giving me a chance to find yours! Linda.

  6. Howdy from Nashville, Molly! Nice meeting you on the blogosphere – love what you’ve got going on over here. Look forward to reading more. Cheers!

  7. This blog has some awesome content, my friend! So much so that I nominated you for the ABC Award! See me blog for more details: http://sincerelykaterz.wordpress.com/2013/12/05/throwing-snowballs-instead-of-throwing-heads/

  8. You had me at “Wildly Inappropriate”. Looking forward to reading your posts. 🙂

  9. Wait – when did you get a helicopter instructor license???

  10. Caught you at Aussa Loren’s place. I tip my hat to you and the ex on the co-parenting thing.

  11. The pleasure is all mine!

  12. Hi! I’m visiting some of the people that participated in Le Clown’s Easte Egg Hunt and that I haven’t met before. So, very nice to meet you! Your picture is so lovely! 🙂 *waves*

    • Oh gosh. I see my comment floating between the comments and I hope I didn’t randomly hit “reply” causing me to indirectly stalking a reader with my comment to you…

      It’s late here, so I think it’s best that I stop rambling! Ciao!

  13. Some of your favorite things are words? Same here! My favorite word is “gravy”. If I had a British Shorthair Kitten, I’d totally call it Gravy. Fact.

  14. Hey there…I followed @AussaLorens here and glad I did. I too am a Gemini – so we will get along fantastically! I can’t wait to see what your blog has in store for me!! Feel free to pop over and see mine – although it isn’t near as cool as yours or hers (but I am working on it like a dog…errr Cat.)

  15. Hey Molly, just checking in on you to make sure all is well and that you haven’t killed any more hamsters. Hope all is well in your whacky world.

  16. Hello there! I ended up here because I followed Aussa and she mentioned MOLLYtopia, and I suspected that that particular name might indicate a subtle affair with MDMA, which I have a slight obsession with but am too scared to take it because I heard it turns people into like- weird sex orgy freaks and stuff and they dance all night and then die after they become chronically dehydrated, despite the liter of water they carry everywhere.

    :0) <<<

    If I didn't study drugs and social sciences in my real life, I would probably pop one (or 3) and dance all night and do other things too and maybe even relax a bit? Either way,
    it's a pleasure to meet you! I'm Birgitta. Anybody that's alright with that crazy Aussa girl is alright in my book. [And, I'm Type A as well, so, there's THAT.]

    Your first reply back (to Le Clown) in the comment section is probably one of the best things I've ever read, by the way. Love it. :0) (I echo your sentiments entirely.) I used to be super trippy and weird about gaining "followers" (etc.); that was so 10 years ago. (I've been known to rip down my profiles on various social media platforms without so much as a "goodbye" or "will return when…"). Now I'm just too lazy… it's great to meet you though. :0)

  17. Oh you sound like fun…

  18. Cool stuff, dude.

  19. People who say inappropriate things are my favorite kinds of people.
    I think we’ll get along just fine.

  20. Yes, About page is an important one & you did manage to present it very gracefully 🙂

  21. Absolutely loving your blog! I thought it was so awesome so decided to nominate you for the One Lovely Blog Award! Please see my blog where I’ve listed you as one of my nominees 😊


    If you don’t fancy it or have already participated, just enjoy the fact that I think your blog is lovely!

  22. This is one of the best About Me pages that I’ve read! Can’t wait to read more 🙂

  23. Good to see evidence of your continued nodal being-hood… or something like that.
    Thanks for the like…

  24. Bugger me, how the hell has it taken me so damn long to get my arse over here?? You are fucking awesome nad, quite frankly, so is your daughter. I found you via the link on Nadias re-emergence post today…I’m glad she linked you. Now I’m off to hit the Follow button and then I’m gonna poke around a bit more…lookin’ forward to it. Cheers REDdog

    • You know how I know we’re friends for life? Because you wrote nad instead of and. The end – better than a pinky promise. Heading to your blog immediately. XO

      • I do that all the time on my phone, and worse with the assistance of auto-correct, but rarely do I leave such error behind from the lappie…I guess that’s just how comfortable I feel here already, Moll. S’gonna be fun.

      • I do it all the time AT WORK. So I wrote a post about it haha: Typos Get You Noticed : )

  25. You had me at “deep fryed turd.”

  26. You had me at “deep-fried turd”

  27. Hey my name is Allison and your blog is awesome! I’m also a type A personality and can wait to get out of town. I think swearing makes you more honest and it’s a way of life. I also get to be a pirate for 8 weeks so come check me out at http://www.allisonleesnow.wordpress.com 🙂 (hopefully you don’t regret it)

  28. Super blog
    Cool delicate and slightly to read
    Greetings from Luke with Polish

  29. Wow, quite the awesome blog you have here! So many interesting and entertaining posts. Kudos! 🙂

  30. Love it! And love your layout, which is it if you don’t mind me asking?

  31. Your blog is great and your about page is kick-ass–I now have go back and rewrite mine just out of sheer envy.

  32. I have noticed you don’t monetize your site, don’t waste your traffic,
    you can earn additional cash every month because you’ve
    got hi quality content. If you want to know how to make extra $$$,
    search for: Mrdalekjd methods for $$$

  33. Heart.

  34. I don’t know why I don’t know how to operate my blog still, but it’s true. Thank you again for this. I’m truly honored. I know I commented on your post, but it doesn’t appear I said anything here. Tacky! XO

  35. I do not get credit for this! But thank you for associating me with your fame. You know I’m one of your biggest, if not biggest, fans : ) You rock – congratulations on being Twitter Spotlighted! XO


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