After all that hoopla yesterday about getting laid off, I got the call from my VP at the end of the day saying I’m safe!!!
I still have my job, my paycheck, my benefits, and my tacky little office. Yay!!! I also still have my team member, who is the most amazing cohort in crime anyone could ever imagine. Double yay!!! I guess I should have survivor’s guilt, but I don’t. I’m completely psyched I’m still employed.
Naturally some other people weren’t as lucky, and I’m sad for them. But I think I gave them great advice.
There were only two people (not in my department) I hoped would get laid off. And they did. Which means I have superpowers, and I can predict the future. I’m not an evil person – I had good reason to want them gone. One had been here since Jesus was a baby and still couldn’t do the job, which made mine harder. The other one was equally dumb, but also made Satan seem charming and pleasant. I tried to be sad about their departure but I couldn’t.
Note: Karma is real, and change is good.
Otherwise, this company is filled with incredibly talented and lovely people, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed for every single one of them.
Now that I know my job is secure and I’ve sufficiently danced around my office, I’m abandoning the possibility of being drunk in my underwear at noon on weekdays, and I’m getting back to work.
Thank you all for your well wishes, good luck messages, and internet hugs. You’re the best!