I got this e-mail at work:
As many of you may have heard, our friend (deleted for privacy) younger brother and his family (dfp). They did not survive. We would like to take up collections to purchase a Visa gift card to help her and the family out during this time. If you would like to donate, please stop by my desk to sign the card. I will be collecting donations up until EOD on Friday to mail to her home. Please continue to keep (dfp) and her family in your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. Thanks for your support.
What is happening in our world?
We all know this woman, and have for almost a decade. Her husband is blind. Her ailing mother-in-law lives with them. They have a four-year old son, and she works full-time to support all four of them.
She is no doubt in a state of complete internal collapse over this news. And now, in addition to the three family members she takes care of, she has four to bury.
Thank goodness she has a Visa gift card coming in the mail.
When did it become acceptable to throw money and lame greeting cards at people when their world implodes?
Isn’t it weird that we give the exact same thing to our co-workers when they get married, or have babies?
When did we become heartless drones?
Our friend doesn’t need polite rhetoric about how sorry we are for her loss. She needs us to line up at her door with casseroles. She needs us to babysit, and change the sheets on her bed because they’re damp with tears and snot. She needs us to do the grocery shopping, sort her mail, and answer the phone so she doesn’t have to lie to anyone else today and say she’s doing okay. She needs us to the do the laundry, walk the dog, and ease her into a chair when another wave of grief takes her out at the knees.
She needs a friend.
Not a gift card.