The Fiery Debate over George Clooney.

His personal character was called into question over dinner. It began innocently with the “hot and compelling” game. Some movie stars are hot, some are compelling, some are both. Naturally these critical decisions are based on what we’ve gleaned from trusted sources like People Magazine, Entertainment Tonight, and the internet.

In the hot and compelling department, my votes go to: Johnny Depp, Robert Dinero, Robert Downey, Jr., Matt Damon, Gary Oldman and Willem Dafoe.

That’s when it happened. “What about George Clooney?”

“Nope. Definitely neither.”

“Really???”

“REALLY.”

“Why?”

I’m turning off the quotations now because I work in finance and I don’t get paid for proper composition. You will know what I mean because we’re friends.

My answer was: in my opinion he couldn’t be less noteworthy personally or professionally.

This created a disturbance in the force. A genuine disagreement, which is truly rare.

Mr. Clooney’s defense team began…

I don’t think it’s fair to say that.

I think he’s a doosh.

Why?

Because he dates people until it’s tiresome or boring and then dumps them. People are disposable to him.

Not true. He does a ton of work in Darfur. He spends a shit-ton of money, time and resources fighting for basic needs.

But he’s incapable or unwilling to commit those same things to one person, or a small group of them called a family. The only shred of humanity I’ve seen in him was how completely heartbroken he was when his pot-bellied pig died after their sixteen years together.

You’re doing the same thing the article in HuffPost did – crucifying him for not being married and having children.

I’m not saying he’s a dooshbag for not getting married or having children. I AM saying it’s much easier to care about thousands of strangers than it is to care about one human you have a personal relationship with.

So, because he’s not choosing one woman to marry, he’s not a good person?

I think he’s an average person. I think it takes way more to commit yourself to one human you have to actually personally interact with than it does to show up at the UN and clamor on behalf of people you’ve never met.

There a lot of actors who do nothing, but because they’ve chosen to get married and have children, they’re better humans? Half of them don’t even stay married. No one gives a woman shit for opting to not get married. So what if he’s chosen to live the life of a playboy. He’s still doing more good for humanity in general than most people.

That’s all true, but it’s relatively easy to get on a plane and build a house and dispense medication and then go home. I’ve done it, many times, and then I went home to my life that revolved around me.

But he does it.

Which is great. I still don’t think he’s hot or compelling.

I’ll stop here because it was more of the same: he’s awesome. No he’s not.

We were both downright pissed off by the time we agreed to stop talking about it, which is really dumb considering neither of us have spent one second with George Clooney. True story. But here’s a fact: on the rare occasions I’m being a stubborn dick about something and holding onto my ideas like a rabid terrier, there’s a 97% chance I’m absolutely wrong.

I continued the debate with myself when I got home.

Why are you so committed to thinking George Clooney is a dooshbag?

I am not applauding him for using a portion of his hiatus from making $9M a day to appear in another country as a spokesperson and then returning to his Lake Como home with his next TBD supermodel.

But that work is really worthwhile. Have you forgotten you’ve done it yourself on a much smaller scale, and cried a river when you left the people you served?

I’m not saying the work he’s doing isn’t worthwhile, but the hero factor should be tempered with the fact that he’s ABLE to do it because the only living thing he’s chosen to be responsible for is himself, and a domesticated barnyard animal that passed away 7 years ago. Anyone could do his charity work if they had his unlimited resources, nearly unlimited time, and no humans to care about.

Is it possible that you’re just jealous of his personal and financial freedom because he can do whatever he wants to, whenever he wants, with whomever he wants, and you quietly sometimes resent feeling trapped by a job and a child?

Maybe.

Is it possible that it was his conscious choice to commit himself to the masses instead of one person and a family? Or that maybe he’s as insecure as every other human and fears he wouldn’t be able to give one person what they need, but feels confident he can give lots of people what they need?

Maybe.

Even though you don’t find him hot or compelling, is it really fair to assume he’s a total dooshbag? You don’t find The World’s Most Interesting Man hot or compelling either, but you haven’t condemned him as a flaming asshole. What’s the difference?

Okay, argument is hereby conceded. He was wrongly accused; the prosecution rests.

And scene.

So, when it comes right down to it, my friend was right. I was judging George Clooney for not committing himself to one person. Here’s why: I wish the guys who give up single life and agree to raise a child or children (theirs or their significant other’s) got more credit for what they sacrifice. I’m sure they would love to trade places with George Clooney on many days, but they stay the course and appreciate the moments between the chaos. They hold on tightly when it sucks, anticipating the times when having a family is glorious.

Showing up for the people in our families is hard. I think it’s especially hard for guys. Ladies, don’t get mad at me here. Everyone knows we do way more than dudes, and without us it would all collapse in on itself. However, it’s no secret our significant others were not sitting around in homeroom scribbling their first names along with their girlfriends last name on their notebooks. They were not daydreaming about the perfect wedding dress, babies, or china patterns. They were daydreaming about being rock stars, race car drivers and jet fighter pilots. They cooperate with our fantasies because we have sex with them, they get tired of doing their own laundry, and eating at McDonalds starts to suck eventually. I’m just saying let’s acknowledge the people who are living out dreams that weren’t theirs.

Listen I know incessant farting and burping and blank stares weren’t your dreams either. That’s another post. My point is our dudes are IN, and they’re staying. Which is why when Don of all Trades‘ little G$ vomits all over everything he loves, he shows up, and cleans up. It’s why when Le Clown‘s Tiny Geek doesn’t sleep for three days, he shows up, and stays up, until his eyes bleed. It’s why when Anna loses her mind and insists that my dude hang a dream catcher above her bed, he shows up, and hangs it. The same is true for my brother-in-law, my brother, Dad, it’s OK, Ah Dad, Bens Bitter Blog, and the list goes on an on. For 18 years, minimum.

Refusing to give Mr. Clooney credit where it was due wasn’t giving credit to the people I wish got more of it. What gives credit where I think belongs is including the phenomenal people I know in this post, and saying you know what guys? I think you’re really fucking awesome. Every one of you. You show up when it’s awesome, but more importantly you show up when you’re sick, tired, bewildered, angry, worried, and disappointed. And, you do all that under harsh conditions: in a house with another adult human who has a list of needs and wants all their own, AND hormones.

YOU are the guys that deserve to be featured in People magazine.

YOU are the guys that are truly hot and compelling.

Comments

  1. Dude(tte),
    Everything that comes to my mind is an onomatopoeia right now, and that would make one strange comment, because Le Clown is known to be all beige Gap khaki pants as it is (see what I mean). Anyway. And on this, I just have to…

    Le Clown
    PS: Thank you, Molly (read with a slew of onomatopoeia).

  2. I do appreciate that you so freely acknowledge that neither of you have ever met or spent any time with said actor. I don’t really have an opinion about him one way or the other because I don’t know him…at all…not even a tiny bit. He might be a doosh or he might be a great guy who has tons of really solid deep relationships with people that never get mentioned in the press because they don’t go to the awards show or the party with him because in truth those things sort of suck. They are work for those people not fun. All I know is I don’t know anything real about him. But WAY more important is the giant truth of how much credit every single man and woman that shows up in their lives and the lives of their families when it’s hard, when it’s messy, when it sucks the shit out of a dead rats ass! As you said, THOSE ARE THE HEROES and we should never forget it nor should we miss a chance to tell them. So HEY… thanks for being stand up. The world is better because it.

  3. Right the freak ON!! I do like to look at Clooney. He’s easy on my eyes. But, it has bothered me that he doesn’t seem to be able to stick with one person for very long. He would never be able to do what I’ve done over the past 10 years with my son. He’d be long gone- headed for the hills. And there again, my husband has been the rock of Gilbraltar. He’s gone through hell with me, taken care of the two of us when required, and taking care of me lately. Yeah, Clooney would never make it. Although I wouldn’t mind some of his money.

  4. I’ve got a problem with your point of view on this matter. The point of view that persons who chose not to procreate are worthless. Mr. Clooney is just your example.

    I call it responsible behaviour, if I do not procreate. I use less energy and leave more resources for your children’s future. I pay my taxes for childcare, parental help programmes, schools and universities and here in Germany a lot more – without ever taking profit of either.
    I have enough money to help my brother’s girl, when she needs somebody.
    I can afford to give money to SOS children’s village because I don’t have to pay bills for raising children – and thereby I help them to raise children that are already there. And because of Mr. Clooney and his event where he asked for longer-lasting help for Haiti I chose a children’s village in Haiti. They are still needy there.

    I have some terrible genes I could pass on: Heart disease genes, weak eyes, depression, breast cancer. What would I burden society and my children with?

    I do not have the slightest wish to hold a baby. Guess how a child would feel growing up at my household? And still, though I have responsibly decided against becoming a mom (how convenient I never had that dream you think every girl has) – in your eyes I am worthless shit. Thank you so much.

    • Oh boy. First of all thank you so much for telling me how this post made you feel. It’s never my intention to make anyone feel worthless : (. I was actually trying to do the opposite. Specifically, I was acknowledging that it was dumb of me to judge George Clooney when, like you, he does so much good in the world. At the same time I wanted to give credit to a group of people I think deserve as much credit as celebrities do: the guys who live with children (theirs or other people’s). This post was not meant to condemn women who choose not to have children. It was meant to give kudos to the guys who show up for the people they care about.

      Back to you, you’re right and I agree with you – it’s a responsible choice to avoid having children if you don’t want them, regardless of the reason. It must be very difficult to feel like you constantly have to defend that decision. It’s not fair, and I regret this post brought that up for you.

      Thanks for reading my blog – I always appreciate hearing from you.

      • I hope I did not come over as too aggressive, I usually try to be polite on somebody else’s site, sorry, if I might have crossed the line (you never know when you express yourself in a foreign language).
        I am glad you clarified that all you really wanted is to celebrate people who live their lives responsibly with kids. Bringing up kids is not easy while to back out is when you are male – sure those who stay need acknowledgement!
        I just think it should not be done by dismissing somebody else. Be he famous or not.
        If Mr. Clooney’s fast waning interest in women is all you hold against him, open your eyes to reality. It happens a lot even WITH married men with kids, around his age at least – guess where all those midlife crisis men come from? We should be glad that here at least is one man who seems to take marriage and family seriously and thinks himself not to be able to commit to both enough to make it last. A man who does not divorce a mother of his child/children and starts a new family every five to ten years. That is the other side of the medal – he could try to fit into your scheme – and he would probably be one of those who would be in the papers every other year with either a new marriage, a child, a divorce and a remarriage.
        Knowing that way he would leave more behind than a “broken heart” of a thirty something like he does now. This man knows better than to involve children in his restless life. Isn’t that responsible?
        I can understand if you do not see a hero in this actor, and for what I have come across, he might agree with you on that! He likes jokes and he avoids overrating himself, rather keeps joking about himself. For all that I know about him, just talking about his public personality, not the “real” man, though. What kind of man he is when out of the limelight – who knows. I am glad we don’t – hey, there might be a bit of privacy left, despite NSA 😉

  5. CombatBabe says:

    #1. I love your spelling of douchebag.
    #2. I saw Behind the Actor’s Studio with George Clooney and he’s really rather boring. So I think he’s cute, but compelling? Nope, I changed the channel on his ass.

  6. Darwin would say that childless critters are not biologically successful. I am biologically successful to Darwin so yay me. I’m hoping one of my kids gets rich so I can quit working. Clooney didn’t need kids to do it for him. His award acceptance speech a few years ago cemented his douchebag status for me though. Thanks for the love, Molly. I’m probably not as awesome as you portray me, but I do appreciate it.

  7. Brilliant argument and conclusion. You have my vote – hot and compelling!

  8. Awesome dads and great husbands are hot (not trying to steal anyone’s husband, just speaking in generalities). . . .even sometimes when they’re driving mini-vans!! lol

  9. I am better looking than George Clooney…
    Never had an opinion of the guy, no I hate him. Was REALLY surprised to see my “name” listed…a real WTF moment. Now we only have to convince the wife that I’m special…

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