When did feminism get so dumb?

What’s up with all the man-hating on the internet these days?  Sure some men are fantastic assholes, but there are a lot of women assholes, too.  I’ve met them, and I’d say the ratio is around 50:50.  Men have not cornered the market on being jerks, and I think we could all stand a little more kindness toward everyone.

Yes, we live in a patriarchal society.  I acknowledge that.  I also acknowledge that I have the right to get an education, have a career in any field I choose, participate in government elections, wear whatever I want to, and speak my mind if and when I’m so inclined.  American women have more opportunity and freedom than ever before.  Certainly there is still plenty more to be done, but I’m concerned about the latest wave of feminism.

Specifically, it’s very trendy right now to have some grand complaint, real or imagined, about why “men suck.”  That’s a pretty hateful and sweeping statement about an entire gender of human beings.  Frankly, I’m a little bit tired of it.  Firstly because that gender includes a lot of great people I really admire.  Secondly, because those exact phrases are heard on elementary school playgrounds every day.  The only difference is they say “boys” instead of “men.”  Not very impressive.

If the goal is to be treated with respect and equality, the proper course of action probably isn’t clamoring on the internet about mansplaining.  When I read things like that I wonder how the men in those women’s families feel.  It must be pretty insulting, maybe even embarrassing – particularly for those men who have done nothing to promote unequal treatment of women.  Maybe a better tack is to do stop blaming men for everything and use the power we have to achieve more equality.

For instance, there are over 100 differences between the male and female brain.  Some of those differences make women better multi-taskers, more intuitive, and able to consider a range of solutions prior to taking action.  These are meaningful facts that move the conversation forward.  Shouting on Twitter about how “you guys” must be destroyed because it “demeans women” and “women” needs to be changed to “womyn” because (bla bla bla I can’t even care) is slamming the conversation into reverse.  If hearing or reading “you guys” or “women” cripples you, please turn in your vagina – we’ll give it back to you when you’re a big girl.  Equality for women is an important and multi-faceted issue.  Please don’t block the road to progress with petty complaints.

Likewise, I don’t think trying to change a college curriculum because it’s “offensive to some women” helps us.   Literature is literature.  We want equal opportunity  in education, unless the mean stories in books are hurting our feelings?  Not a very powerful position.

Additionally, insisting on growing armpit hair to insure men don’t objectify women is just silly.  If you want to grow it out, party on, but the statement you’re making is completely overpowered by your actual vagina.  Mainly because unless you’re walking around with your arms in the air with a tank top on, no one is going to know you’re making this bold statement (unless you post it all over instgram and tumblr).  I hate to oversimplify but heterosexual men will still want to have sex with you even if you have armpit hair.  True story.  Exhibit A:  Miley Cyrus actually makes armpit hair look HOT.

Miley

I would totally make-out with her, except I’m close to being old enough to be her mother and that’s becoming Madonna-level-sad.  But hopefully you see my point:  arm pit hair can be taken off the critical issue list.

Apparently young ladies are also taking to granny panties now to prove their feminist point.  If this means the same thing as putting on your “big girl panties,” I’m all for it.  Otherwise, I’m not following.  The only people who see your underwear are people you’re having sex with and your closest friends.  That’s not a very wide audience for your “platform for change.”

I understand the notion of creating our own standards for “beauty,” but personally I’m more concerned with fair pay and having control over my uterus.  Maybe I’m old-fashioned but my advice is to get your ass to work, do a good job, and act like a grownup who has something to offer.  Can you imagine a world where men whined about a syllabus?  Or chose different underwear to demand fair treatment?  Or launched an anti-face-shaving movement to prevent being objectified?

No.  You know why?  Because other men would punch them in the dick, and women would roll their eyes and wander off to have sex with men who don’t require pacifiers.  Meaning:  they wouldn’t do that because it’s reeee-dicccccc-ulous.  It makes no sense to me that women should expect a different reaction.

If we want equal treatment and to be respected by humans of all genders, we need to be respectable, and respectful, humans.  To me that means suit up, show up, and prove we have everything it takes to be an equal team member.  Not scream about equality with hairy armpits and giant panties that no one can even see.  I mean show up in the places where it actually counts, like at work, in the voting polls, and in our universities.

Because truthfully?  When people with vaginas behave like idiots, the only thing holding us back is US.

Comments

  1. I hear you, loud and clear. Apart from the mansplaining – you know what they mean with that word? When a man comes up to me and explains something to me that I know better – because I have studied the topic or have immersed myself in it for umpteenth years and read widely about it …
    If Donald Trump would come over and tell me all about public administration I would roll my eyes – he would be mansplaining. If I would tell him all about how to be jerk, I would be … I think he has that one mastered!

  2. beingmepresently says:

    Agreed. We spent so much time and effort fighting for equality and now that were (mostly) getting it, what do we do with it? When will people realise we are all equals? Yes, men can be better at some things and women at others. We should just help each other out and quit complaining. Thanks for sharing this. X

  3. Yes you are right!….doing something great and achieving something in your career as a female would prove your fight for feminism!….for equality!….its not feminism getting dumb but some people getting dumb…..check out my article on feminism too http://www.believefeminism.wordpress.com

  4. We still have work to do and men still need to be slapped around (metaphorically, of course) about their attitudes. But anger and attack only makes men defensive. No win.

  5. Omf… you are brilliant ! =) =)

    You may have picked up on this vibe, but I am totally man-loving, to infinity ! =) Feminism makes me cringe, ANY divisive ideology based on vajayjay’s and dicks just makes me want to laugh out loud, except for the fact that it truly is so damned divisive and we refuse to get past our collective selves in order to create a society meaningful and accepting of all since our positions on the proverbial soapbox seem to be so satisfying…

    GAH ! Sorry about that, tangent time… =)

    **comment does indeed contain generalizations, but no offense to anyone is intended**

  6. bl4ckh3rt3dangel says:

    This is one of the best posts I’ve read in a long time – amusing as well! Gave me a few right good giggles before I remembered I was reading a deep post about something I very much agree with.

  7. This was awesome!!! Thank you., muah!.

  8. I like this. great read.

    • I'm on the cop's side here.Think about how he actually responded. His slap was barely more than a love tap. I'm sure it stung a little, but imagine, given his size, how hard he could of slapped her.No, the woman got what she deserved, no more and no less.I find it hard to imagine doing it myself given the way I was raised, but watching the cop do it, was, well, libraeting. He's done something that I've imagined doing on one or two occasions but have never done.

  9. I love this! On point in all levels.

  10. Feminism is such a beautiful concept for me that I am disheartened at how misunderstood it is. Being a feminist means equality for all, not overpowering women. There are so many amazing ways we can prove our point and make a difference, so I agree with you. It gets on my nerves with all these insults to men. I mean, come on, my father, brothers, husband are men and I love them! Why hate every man. As if ALL women are angels. Shaking my head!

  11. diluminate says:

    Greetings, Anti-feminist feminists. Don’t be divisive by attacking other women whether you agree with their naive (mostly young feminists do these odd things) ways of expressing a clear need for better safety and respect for their bodies and minds. We need a united front on serious issues.

    • Yes – we do need a united front on serious issues. That’s why it disturbs me that they’re being diluted by some of these sillier demands that have no real impact. Thanks for chiming in – I’m headed over to your blog next – nice to meet you!

  12. Oh Molly, I love you and might even if you had armpit hair, which I find disgusting, but it’s a personal preference. I don’t know why ANY group looking for change feels as though confrontation and eschewing the way of a group it needs support from at least in part, is the way to go. I acknowledge that I have it pretty good as a middle class white man in the US of A, but I’m willing and even eager to help people who don’t criticize me for shit that I had nothing to do with. Criticizing makes me shut down, and I’m sure many other reasonable white men similarly situated do the same thing. That doesn’t help.

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