Not all feet touchers are the same

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I don’t like strangers scratching my head and mounting me in public.  Especially when I have to pay for it. My glorious friend, P, and I decided to treat ourselves to a “foot spa” outing after work.  It’s not a pedicure, you just sit in a fancy chair and people magically appear to massage your […]

Holy shitfire!

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I’m officially spending forever with this awesome, smart, handsome, and hilarious guy! Wearing this ring! And the ear-to-ear smile in the first photo! HOORAY! Obviously there were pranks and rabbits involved in the proposal – it was perfect! Note:  I promise not to turn this blog into a festering wedding planning wound.  It will be the same nonsense […]

Getting intimate with dolls for money

pGChc

The best way to make money and edit personal space is to take naked pictures of dolls. I know.  I’m a genius. It didn’t start out weird (says everyone right before being arrested) – Kit was fully dressed when I took the first photo… Household purges usually result in a trip to Goodwill, but I’ve recently made two […]

Clearly the Solution was Fire and Urine

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She had collapsed in on herself and was sobbing at the table.  I patted her on the back in that awkward way which precisely conveys, “I don’t know what to do, or what to say, and I want to run from this emotional Hazmat scenario as fast as I can but I’m required by law […]

7 Truths That Make Parenting More Fun

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Here’s the question I received:  “Does being a mom ever get fun?  My friend and I both have an infant and a toddler, and it’s so hard.  Please tell us the truth.” Sometimes being a mom sucks a giant butthole.  There – I said it for all of us.  Now let’s exhale together and know […]

Survivor’s guilt…

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After all that hoopla yesterday about getting laid off, I got the call from my VP at the end of the day saying I’m safe!!! I still have my job, my paycheck, my benefits, and my tacky little office.  Yay!!!  I also still have my team member, who is the most amazing cohort in crime anyone […]

Getting laid….off?

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I’m sure you’ve all see the exciting news that Turner is laying off a giant chunk of its employees this week.  This has prompted some worried texts, phone calls, DMs and e-mails from y’all.  Firstly thank you for caring, kumbaya, and group hug.  Secondly, we’ve all been aware of this upcoming chopping-block party for a while, so we’ve had plenty of time […]

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