More Helmet Stickers for Girls

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You scoop or pick up dookie that isn’t human – you rock! You make food appear in the magic box in the kitchen – hooray! You work for a normal-sized boss during the day, and then work for one or more tinier bosses all night – way to go! You do nice things with the adult penis in your house – you’re the best! If […]

Helmet Stickers for Girls

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I learned a very important piece of information about college football yesterday:  boys get stickers for being good!  AND they get to put them on their helmets so everyone knows how awesome they are! I LOVE stickers.  But I’m not going to play football. So I made some for girls. Your hormones told you to murder […]

Gymnastic Shenanigans

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Handstands onto your bed is the new hotness.  Right up until you record it… Naturally this meant I was required to try it, too… She was determined… And so was I… We became convinced if we did it simultaneously Cirque would call… Obviously this is what responsible parents do on school nights.  Happy Friday y’all […]

VIP Tuesday

Tuesday’s Very Important Poll: Take a moment to live vicariously through Melissa McCarthy in this video, and then tell us…   This poll is totally anonymous.  Your mouse-peen boss will never know how you voted.

But what if your crotch gets addicted?

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Hey there’s a new vaginal marijuana potion that produces a 15-minute climax. Que en el mundo? Speaking of being high, this guy is trying to enter the stratosphere in an air balloon using batteries, 2-way radios, a parachute, balloons and helium.  He needs your help.  If you’ve built and launched your own high-altitude balloon please get in touch […]

VIP Tuesday

Very Important Poll. Because I need to know.

“Will you please start arguing???”

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It’s an odd question to want to ask my 10-year-old, but clearly the best time to change parenting strategies is when you’re more than half way through… I told Anna I would buy her a new bike yesterday because she’s outgrown the one she has now.  Later in the day I discovered if we put […]

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