Battle of the Blogs: Don vs. Jules

This. Is. Amazing. Two awesome bloggers many of us follow, Don of all trades and Go Jules Go, have waged war over which is better: babies or dogs.

You can see this spectacle from Don’s point of view here, and from Jules’ point of view here. They both make hilarious cases, and the commentary that ensues is just as funny.

I cast my vote for babies, but only because here are the first five things I remember about my little dog:

1) He ate trouser socks. They became shit slingshots when I pulled them out of his tiny ass because he couldn’t pass them without help. He thanked me for my assistance by aggressively biting me every time.

2) No kleenex was safe. If it had snot in it, he ate it. Every trash can in our home required a biohazard anti-tamper lid.

3) No panties were safe. He was a disgusting perv who sifted through the laundry basket when no one was home. All laundry baskets had to be kept behind closed doors.

4) He was terrified of other people for NO REASON. He vibrated like a dog-shaped sex toy even if he had met them before. Doggie zanax only helped a little.

5) There was no breaking him of licking the roof of my mouth. I don’t hang out with my mouth open, nor am I a dog kisser. He would sit in my lap and wait for me to say one word. His tongue was a horrifying pink lightning bolt.

After three years of torment, I gave him to friend who is as unique as he is, and the two of them are living happily ever after in their house near the ocean.

Now I’ve moved on to cats because they’re slightly more civilized. Meet Olive and Berri.

If the battle was between chipmunks and babies, chipmunks would win hands down, even if the baby came with a bag full of cash and a beach house in Malibu. That’s how much I love them.

Please go to Don or Jules‘ post and cast your vote – we need the hilarity to continue!

Comments

  1. I cast my vote on both sites. There is a rumbling going on out there. I need a bitter rival on something.

  2. Steve-John B says:

    I think YOU need to join with your case! ________________ Steven Beliveau stevenbeliveau.com 978.228.8940 yep, an iPhone

  3. I am a cat fan as well. Dogs I don’t understand. Kids, thankfully, grow up and are able to take care of their toiletry needs (they do, right? Please say yes, because my 3-yr-old is still in diapers).

    • Yes. Ultimately they even stop asking you to help with wiping – hooray!

    • I don’t get dogs either. So. Needy. Babies are needy too, but they will learn to clean up after themselves, if you teach them. Dogs will forever stare at you blankly after they’ve just finished peeing or pooping on the floor. It’s like having an eternally non-potty-trained three-year-old.

      Babies over chipmunks as well, unless the chipmunks are of the “Alvin And The” variety, because those guys appear to take personal hygiene pretty seriously.

  4. haha.. nice.. (y)
    I think Jules is Nice.. but, Don is not bad.. 😀

  5. Your dog was horrible. Ugh. When I was a kid, I desperately wanted a dog. I should blog about that. Hm…

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  1. […] day me can’t imagine having a dog now. Yes, they can be cute and loving, but also so gross and expensive and […]

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