Vacation Bucket List: Show Butt to Strangers

The conversation usually goes like this:

“Hey babe – can you watch the kids for a bit? I need to go to the store for a few things.”

Not like this:

“Hey babe – can you watch the kids for a bit? My ass broke and I need to go to the doctor.”

I prefer imaginary scenarios where getting naked with strangers means phone calls that end like this:

IMG_1894Edit

Not phone calls with in-network providers that end like this:

IMG_1890

The bright side is I met Arvin and Jesse.  They are awesome and hilarious, and I would totally be friends with them if they hadn’t already seen my butt.

IMG_1892

They fixed the issue and gave me some fancy narcotics that blend nicely with boat drinks.  As long as you don’t operate heavy machinery, negotiate financial matters, or stand.

3869549_o

I’m kidding.  The evening went more like this:

fabulous

Since this was not my first butt rodeo, I was in the pool again and vacation was back on track the next morning:

pool

Not exactly the sexy version of getting naked I had in mind in my last post, but Show Butt to Strangers has officially been checked off my Vacation Bucket List.

Have you had an embarrassing moment on vacation?  Shown your ass to a stranger?  Tell us about it.

Comments

  1. OMFG, you are hysterical… ! =) =)

  2. LOL One summer when I was in Puerto Rico at my grandparents’ house a dog bit me. In the ankle. (Could you get more stereotypically generic, stupid shihtzu??) So the doc at Emerge-Centro insisted on giving me the tetanus shot in the BUTT and I told him he wasn’t touching me unless the nurse was in the room. I was 15 and mouthy. Oh, and I won that argument which probably shouldn’t have been an argument…

  3. Something tells me you’d fit right in at a Swingers Club.
    *grin*

  4. I can’t believe you took a picture of the nurses! Ha! Hope your butt is better. Once on vacation, I got drunk, and mooned the boat racing next to us.

  5. Bitch, you definitely are fabulous! As for the embarrassing vacation moments… There aren’t enough characters in the comments box.

    • Hahaha thanks Sean! Totally going with the whole pen name party. I put your book on the Mollytopia FB page today : ). I’m loving it so much – effing hilarious!

      • Aww thanks so much Molly, I really appreciate that. And I’m really glad you’re enjoying it. By the way, this… ‘and will make you laugh so hard you might pee in a hotel lobby too.’

        I love your work.

  6. Reminded me of the Be careful what you wish for-post – do you often visit ER? I heard George Clooney has retired from ER .. and is getting married. (So much for “not committing”)

    • Hahaha – no I’m actually pretty healthy. Totally odd that I would require medical attention twice in 6 months. I think I’m set for a while : )

  7. How exactly does one break one’s butt?

  8. Dios Mio! So if it wasn’t butt rodeo, what really happened to your ‘culito’? LOL.

  9. Who’s the girl in the first pic? She’s my ideal. Do you know how everyone has a ‘look’ that they respond to? She’s mine. Who’s that asshole she’s with?

    Are you starting a show-you-ass-to-a-stranger meme? Is that what this is?

  10. Thanks for starting out my day with a belly laugh! I’m glad you decided to come out of the closet and share your story. I know it was scary, butt as usual, you delivered.

  11. hahaha that’s epic. Well, to me. I’m sure at the time this was not feeling very epic to you. I don’t have a similar story, thank the lord, but if it ever happens, you’ll be the first to know. 🙂

  12. Must admit, feels kinda awkward liking a post that reference showing naked butt to strangers…

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