More Helmet Stickers for Girls

You scoop or pick up dookie that isn’t human – you rock!

Print

You make food appear in the magic box in the kitchen – hooray!

Print

You work for a normal-sized boss during the day, and then work for one or more tinier bosses all night – way to go!

Print

You do nice things with the adult penis in your house – you’re the best!

Print

If you earned all these stickers, AND last week’s helmet stickers, your helmet now looks like this:

helmettwo

Finally, football is fun and meaningful.

Next week I’ll even the score – helmet stickers for dudes.

Have any suggestions?

Comments

  1. NotAPunkRocker says:

    I definitely think the dudes who brave the feminine hygiene aisle unassisted deserve a sticker. Even if they are frantically texting the entire time to make sure they get the right thing.

  2. You have a magic box? In your kitchen?

  3. Hahaha, you’re the best. Besides the obvious opening jars and killing bugs, many of us dudes do WAY more than just drink beer on the couch. The good ones still find time for the beer though. Is there a drinks the beer so there’s more room in the fridge for leftovers sticker? There should be.

  4. Ok, get the dudes a screw-sticker – might even come handy with it’s ambiguity. For each DIY-project finished.
    And a wench-sticker – some dudes are better than I am in building IKEA-cupboards. And that is praise, I am pretty good at that.
    A finger- sticker … you know, THAT finger … for times when they have braved some idiot on your behalf.
    A sticker with a trashbag – for helping with the chores.

  5. For the guys: “You Braided Your Daughter’s Hair And Got A Standing Ovation!”
    Wait, were you not looking for passive-aggressive stickers?

  6. I’m pretty sure this could be a male OR female sticker but how about one for surviving the workday helping degreed, professional adults with stupid sh*t like email and printing stuff without using a staple remover an an implement of (self) torture…?

    Sorry. Was having a really bad day but am feeling way better since getting my entire hand suckled by an adorable calf. No, I’m not hallucinating. 😉

    • Oh those should be encrusted with diamonds and shit. For real. I must know more about how and why you have a calf sucking your hand. Please.

      • Yeah that does merit one, doesn’t it… The short of it is I work for a residential and day school for at-risk youth which has its own animal-assisted therapy component. The calf is a recent adoptee since his mother is too young to feed him (kids are shown how). I went for a visit today to soothe my annoyance.

      • Wow. That is extra super cool. You’re a hero in my book!

  7. Housework. On your own and, especially, WITHOUT COMPLAINING.

  8. Actual cut your own lawn
    Fix a toilet
    Could pass stay at home dad exam
    Do nice thing to adult bootie
    Can ask for directions
    Can cook a complete meal without help
    Know what classroom your kid is in

  9. I liked because I’m looking forward to next week when you return balance to the force…

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