It’s time to even the score

The last two posts have featured helmet stickers for girls.

This week’s are for all the awesome dudes out there.

You defeat the lawn every week with heavy equipment, while sweating or freezing your balls off.  Great job!

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You take out the trash, even when it smells like a monkey’s ass for no good reason and you’d rather move out.  You rock!

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You’re smart enough to use Google maps, a GPS, or an atlas to get us to our destination so you don’t have climb into the shame box and ask for directions.  Nice work!

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You spare us from having to touch the creepy crawly things that sneak into the house and threaten our sanity.  Way to go!

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You go to the store alone to purchase tampons, for a hormonal woman who has cried at you, sworn at you, or both, while clamoring for wine, chocolate, or both, in a fit of rage about how she has to do EVERYTHING around here.  MVP!

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If you earned all these stickers this week, you’re amazing.  You get to drink all the beer you want, and you should probably demand a blow job.

Go team Dudes!

33 responses to “It’s time to even the score”

  1. Based on this, I may be owed blowjobs retroactively.

    1. Hahaha – time to pay the piper eh? Go get ’em!

    2. You have to ask nicely with your hormonal spouse!

      1. Hahahaha – maybe you’re right!

      2. Fran! What are you doing here. My secret life is exposed!

      3. Sorry, you said nothing about a secret …

  2. I recently killed a spider by squashing it with a tampon. Don’t worry about making a sticker for that, though.

    1. Hahahaha – Ned you crack me up! You deserve a sticker all your own : )

  3. Hahaha, Ned! Gross. I won’t even say the word let alone purchase those things. I guess I lose 5 yards or something. The other day I freed a spider instead of killing it. I don’t think the wife was too impressed, but killing is wrong, if it can be avoided. There should be some sticker for that shit!! Lol.

    1. Hahaha – you don’t have to kill it. Just remove it from the line of vision please : )

    2. ahh I can’t stand it when hubs takes spiders outside instead of killing them, mainly because he’ll even do it with his bare hands which is some kind of creepy macho BS, just kill the little bastard already

      1. Hilarious! I’m not touching a spider with my bare hands. Ever. Beyond that I don’t have an opinion on whether it lives or dies. That’s cold huh? Oh well. Thanks for chiming in!

  4. Yeah us! But thanks for reminding me that I have to go home and do the garbage….ugghhh

    1. Febreeze it before you tackle it : )

      1. That is some great advice because that stuff smells disgusting.

  5. A blow job procured by demand is usually so void of passion that it feels more like a medical procedure. At least, that’s what I’ve heard.

    1. Totally true – as usual I was joking : ) Hopefully no one ever has to demand a blow job. That would suck. Oh I’m ashamed hahaha.

  6. Can you make a ‘dude, put together the damn flat-pack furniture’ sticker, please? I didn’t take it out of its wrapping and leave the instructions visible for the good of my health. That’s what the wine is for. Or maybe ‘thank you for putting together the damn flat-pack furniture’ would be more of a carrot?? 😉

    1. Hahaha yes! The pre-thank-you-note is genius!!!

  7. I wouldn’t get the last one…I got me some pride… And I pay someone to mow my lawn, does that still qualify for #1?

    1. Totally okay on the last one, and absolutely you get points for paying someone else to mow the lawn : ) You’re a champion in my book!

  8. Reblogged this on because it is okay to vent! and commented:
    hahaha yes you have to give it to the guys sometimes!

    1. Hey thanks a million!

      1. awww I loved it and the previous posts. Thank you for writing such fun posts!

  9. We don’t appreciate them enough for doing all the crap we don’t want to do, this post has inspired me to write my significant other an “I appreciate you because…” list.

  10. Mollytopia, I adore the way you use your words and this post hits home for me lol.

    1. Hey thanks a million – nice to meet you!

      1. Nice to meet you as well! If you could spare your time, not much, I would be very interested in what you think of my blog. If you like debauchery, ostentatious dialogue, and alcohol, I think you may appreciate what I have to offer. I just recently started this blog and am testing my new found joy of writing; any feed back would be greatly appreciated.

      2. Absolutely! Sounds like I will love it – I’ll check it out today : )

  11. Spiders make good pets and besides Master Lee says they are the master of the world of hide and seek.

  12. I saw the pictures very nicely with a new language full of meaning

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