One of These Things Will Not Set You Free

Hey I read Aussa’s awesome post, and then immediately stole her idea, which she encouraged because she stole it from Jen at Sips of Jen and Tonic. I hope Jen stole it from someone else because then we can start a club.

Anyway, welcome to the show. It’s called one of these things isn’t true. Guess which one it is.

1. I was holding a knife and covered in blood from collar-bone to ankles by 8am every day for four months.

2. I moved across the country in the middle of the night to get away from a cocaine addict stalker with a felony.

3. When I was an infant my parents put my crib in the back of a panel van and we traveled with a carnival in Canada for several months.

4. I dated Robert Downey, Jr. for two months.

5. I was an alien on a kids’ show on Nickelodeon.

6. My mother was a pimp.

34 responses to “One of These Things Will Not Set You Free”

Claire

Nov 24, 2013 at 11:36 am

I want #4 to be true but I KNOW you would have told me that, right?!! Frankly, #4 would probably be the most true for a lot of people. But you’re Molly.

Reply
1. mollytopia
  
  Nov 24, 2013 at 8:08 pm
  
  You are wise beyond your years dear Claire…
  
  Reply
CB

Nov 24, 2013 at 11:51 am

I say #4 is the lie. Not because I don’t think you couldn’t land RDJ – you totally could – but because everything else seems plausible since your life is so entertaining and interesting.

Reply
1. mollytopia
  
  Nov 24, 2013 at 8:08 pm
  
  You are correct Combat Babe.
  
  Reply
  1. CB
    
    Nov 25, 2013 at 9:01 am
    
    w00t! 🙂
JWo

Nov 24, 2013 at 12:09 pm

Wow… all of those sound like lies, yet they all sound like true statements.

Very crafty.

I’m still attempting to figure this out, but I’m leaning toward #4 (peer pressure).

Reply
1. mollytopia
  
  Nov 24, 2013 at 8:10 pm
  
  Jason you are both handsome and smart. And funny. Triple threat! #4 is correct.
  
  Reply
  1. JWo
    
    Nov 24, 2013 at 10:35 pm
    
    *Blushing
    *Squirming
    *Shuffling feet
    
    Awww shucks… thanks. 😉
  2. JWo
    
    Nov 24, 2013 at 10:36 pm
    
    Also, I’d love to hear the stories behind all of the other numbers. HAHAHA…
jgroeber

Nov 24, 2013 at 12:43 pm

You’re gorgeous and clever, so Downey would have been lucky to have you, plus maybe he was the coke addict stalker? Two for the price of one? I’m hoping your Mom being a pimp is the lie. Either way, that’s your book. Put a fork in it, it’s done.

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1. mollytopia
  
  Nov 24, 2013 at 8:11 pm
  
  Haha Jen! My mother actually was a pimp. #4 is the lie. But I think we should call RDJ to see if he would go out with me. We’re both spoken for so it’s harmless : )
  
  Reply
Cheryl

Nov 24, 2013 at 1:00 pm

#4 could so totally be true! I want to believe that #6 is the lie.

Reply
1. mollytopia
  
  Nov 24, 2013 at 8:13 pm
  
  #6 is true, #4 is the lie. Wee! You’re awesome – thanks for playing : )
  
  Reply
mariner2mother

Nov 24, 2013 at 2:11 pm

As much as I want to say that number one isn’t true, there are too many details and specifics. So, I’m going to go with number six being false.

Reply
1. mollytopia
  
  Nov 24, 2013 at 8:14 pm
  
  You’re right – #1 is true! But so is #6 haha. The lie is #4 – I did not date RDJ : )
  
  Reply
Jen and Tonic

Nov 24, 2013 at 4:41 pm

I am going to guess that the lie is the RDJ thing, and I only say that because I’m hoping it’s not true. I would get super jealous.

Reply
1. mollytopia
  
  Nov 24, 2013 at 8:16 pm
  
  You’re right! You know me so well we’re practically best friends : )
  
  Reply
Tammy Ryals

Nov 24, 2013 at 9:07 pm

So what’s the sitch on the others? Definitely got me curious on the back stories…..

Reply
1. mollytopia
  
  Nov 24, 2013 at 9:09 pm
  
  There’s probably a blog post for each one of those hahaha. Guess I better get busy : )
  
  Reply
PinotNinja

Nov 24, 2013 at 11:07 pm

Wait — your parents were temporary carnies?! You were a carnie baby?! I cannot process just how awesome that little fact nugget is!

And, I also cannot process how you didn’t end up with RDJ when you have that story in your back pocket.

Reply
1. mollytopia
  
  Nov 25, 2013 at 4:09 pm
  
  YES! Total carnie baby. I should have called RDJ huh? Damn.
  
  Reply
bensbitterblog

Nov 24, 2013 at 11:59 pm

Number 4 was a lie. It was two years right?

Reply
1. mollytopia
  
  Nov 25, 2013 at 4:10 pm
  
  Hahaha – no it was zero days, weeks, months or years. I’ve never even met him. But I love Iron Man so we’re really close.
  
  Reply
  1. bensbitterblog
    
    Nov 25, 2013 at 5:15 pm
    
    What a coincidence! I’ve been friends with him for just as many days! Do you think we met him on the same day?
Aussa Lorens

Nov 25, 2013 at 12:00 am

Dangit! My boyfriend and I just sat here analyzing everything and then I cheated and saw the comments! Crap. Well– now I’m pretty sure you have to blog about all of these truths because some of them are pretty wicked crazy.

Reply
1. mollytopia
  
  Nov 25, 2013 at 4:11 pm
  
  Hahaha – it’s hard not to cheat huh? Well know you know, but I’ll give you the backstory in an upcoming post. Thanks for the idea for another post. NaBloPoMo is crushing my soul at this point haha.
  
  Reply
  1. Aussa Lorens
    
    Nov 25, 2013 at 6:48 pm
    
    I believe it! I’m doing a couple back to backs this week just because I have a guest post out and that alone is enough to weigh me down, ha.
Exile on Pain Street

Nov 25, 2013 at 8:48 am

Late to the show but I was going to guess that #6 was the lie. I can totally see you as RDJ’s arm candy. He should be so lucky.

I may be repeating myself here. I beg your pardon if I am. When I first moved to NYC, a friend of mine, a guitar player, briefly dated Mary Louise Parker. He stopped seeing her because he was a bit clingy. Who’s sorry now?

Reply
1. mollytopia
  
  Nov 25, 2013 at 4:14 pm
  
  I never thought I qualified for arm candy – thanks! You did tell me the MLP story. It’s a shame she was so clingy. Her cash would probably make her suitably aloof at this point, no?
  
  Reply
ardenrr

Nov 25, 2013 at 10:52 am

I’m going to go with this one:

3. When I was an infant my parents put my crib in the back of a panel van and we traveled with a carnival in Canada for several months.

Only because it seems like the obvious true one due to your circus livin’ posts…. I really have no idea!

Reply
1. mollytopia
  
  Nov 25, 2013 at 10:54 am
  
  Good guess Arden! The lie is #4 : )
  
  Reply
  1. ardenrr
    
    Nov 25, 2013 at 10:57 am
    
    Awww man! I adore him so I was really hoping that one was true 🙂
roses are red violets are blue

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Giant Sissy Bitch. – Mollytopia

Nov 18, 2015 at 12:05 am

[…] is the backstory for why I was holding a knife and covered in blood from collar-bone to ankles by 8am every day. I was the kitchen manager at Lone Star Steakhouse and Saloon. In order to be a […]

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