Why girls slip and fall on other dicks

This is a compilation of top complaints I’ve heard from girls over the years.  Yours free of charge.

How to avoid having your girl slip and fall on another dick.

  1. If you’re not going to show up, call and say you’re not going to show up.
  2. If you’re going to be late, call and say you’re going to be late.
  3. Don’t ogle other women in front of her.  That’s what porn is for.
  4. If she invites you to anything, say “yes.”
  5. Get Valentine’s Day right, whatever right is for her.
  6. If she buys a dress so you can take her on a date, make it happen while the dress is still in season.
  7. If you’ve been dating for more than one year, don’t ever refer to anyone, even a celebrity, as “unmarryable.”
  8. If she says, “my feelings are hurt,” show up ASAP and say, “I’m sorry” in person.
  9. If you’ve been specifically told what hurt her feelings, don’t do it again.
  10. If you don’t remember the last time you told her how lucky you are to be with her, put a condom in her purse.

The easiest girl in the room isn’t the one wearing the shortest skirt or showing the most cleavage. It’s the well-mannered girl who feels taken for granted and doesn’t understand why.

oXYzZ - Imgur

This is a Public Service Announcement.  The more you know…

Comments

  1. Where were these tips when I was 22 and could have really used them? Now that I’m housebroken I can be the poster child for how it’s done. That was a long learning process.

    Habitual lateness pushes my button like nothing else. Perhaps too much. I’ve dismissed friendships because if it. It’s a power play. YOU are waiting for ME. It’s an act born from insecurity. Not mine. Theirs.

    Do you have some tips for the gals? I’d love to see them from your perspective.

    • Yay you! Your wife is a lucky lady : ). I hear you on waiting for people – so rude. I’m usually on time, but when I am late it’s bc I’ve made an error somewhere in my day or on the road – and I apologize for it at least three times : ). I do have some tips for the ladies – tomorrow’s post!

  2. You know, they don ‘t listen anyway ….

  3. To be fair, there are a lot of dicks out there to fall on to…

  4. Perfect post ! =) =)

    Have accidentally fallen a time or two myself, and for the exact reasons listed above… =)

    I agree that the pants need to stay on in public, you and Guap are cracking me up this morning… =)

    The best thing about divorce and getting back out there is that I am deeply committed… to myself and MY happiness. I figure out what works for me, and then dive in. It is a great place to be. The new boy was late calling just once, and made up for it with flowers. Train them early ! =) =)

    • Good for you! Divorce is definitely helpful in identifying what we want and need. It also made me a nicer person. Fringe benefit? Whatever. I’ll take it : )

  5. I had a mission to buy that popular plaque found in many popular catalogs that said “NICE MATTERS” and nail it to the wall above an ex-boyfriend’s bed. To be completely honest, I wanted to nail it to his HEAD, but …well, you know!

    • That’s a good plaque to have in the house for everyone to follow! And I’m glad you didn’t nail it to anyone’s head. Prison isn’t nearly as cute as it looks on TV…

      • Haha! Yeah – I might talk a good tough-talk but not really so sure I could stomach the shanking required to protect my cute 4’11” ass nor do I think I’m Macgyver enough to make a sturdy enough chastity belt out of sporks and styrofoam cups… :/

      • Ogod! That’s a horrible thought! But very funny : )

  6. Agreed. I would also say to reciprocate many of those things. We all need to feel appreciated, and we don’t want dicks accidentally tripping and falling into another vag. 😉

  7. Preach!

  8. Lol, oh Molly, you’re the best! I was the absolute worst boyfriend ever. I tried to do right, but I always let my stubbornness get in the way of an I’m sorry or you’re the prettiest girl in the world or whatever. Probaby best though, as I ended up doing pretty good for myself. The Lord knew I always meant well.

  9. Word. 🙂

  10. Needs more dashboard cunnilingus.

  11. See, relationships are hard. I ain’t got time for all dat.

  12. *don’t be one of those territorial, overly-jealous types
    * tell her it doesn’t make her look fat, whatever it is
    * defend her vehemently no matter what

    I once fell on another dick just because my boyfriend was TOO nice/needy/possesive.

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