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Culture, Coffee, Monk
If you need the interior of your private jet or Rolls Royce redone you should totally get in touch with Kenneth Justice from Culture Monk. True story. We met him last Saturday on his world coffee tour, and that was one of the many unexpected tidbits he shared with us. Atlanta was the first stop on his tour, which means we won…
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Murder, Uber and Church Pews
Failure to Appear for jury duty is not bueno. I realized this two days AFTER I was supposed to have been at the courthouse at 8:15am. The court clerk told me I better be there the following Monday or there would be serious consequences. That took me straight to Def Con 1 in my mind.…
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The Truth About Circus Life
Every spotlight was on Gunther Gebel-Williams when the tiger lunged at him and took a swing. I was nine, and perched on my dad’s drum case watching. Massive claws connected on the inside of his elbow and ripped the flesh all the way down to his wrist. The audience gasped in unison. Gunther quickly played it off by…
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Take it Off
I broke the fall with my hand. At my cousin’s house. At her kid’s birthday party. In broad daylight. File under: good embarrassing times. Here’s what was happening precisely 11 minutes before that happened: Specifically, “Heeeeeeey! Oh my gaahhhhhhd you’re here! I’m so glad you came!” We’re southern. After the fall, I sprang to my…
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The Time I Said Yes to a Marriage Proposal Because I Needed A Ride
The proposer will be referred to as Cocaine Boy in this story, which may or may not be true depending on whether or not I receive a cease and desist letter. We were in my Myrtle Beach townhouse community pool and our conversation went like this: Him: Where do you want to go tonight? Me:…
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Be Careful What You Wish For…
I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions because historically I don’t keep them and I don’t need anything else to feel bad about mkay? However, I do take a minute to identify 10 things I would like to have more of in the new year. Note: rough notions like the ones below are dangerous. Turns out…
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Chinese Dolls and Crazy Pills
Anna was waving the American Girl gift card in the air and losing her mind: I WANT TO GET MEGAN’S EARS PIERCED!!!! WILL YOU PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE TAKE ME TO THE AMERICAN GIRL STORE????? [Reaction inside]: [Reaction outside]: Of course – that’s a fabulous idea! I called American Girl to get the details. You know the deal: if…
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Dirty Santa and the Hustler Bag
I was invited to the “Dirty Santa” party! The girl who invited me was someone I met at a meetup.com event. I know. But I’m a go-getter and I had just moved to Georgia from Los Angeles. When “make friends” is on my to-do list, I don’t mess around. I was going to that party and leaving with five phone numbers.…
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Thank You and Good Night I Mean Morning
The only thing worse than quitting NaBloPoMo between days #1 and #29 is forgetting to hit publish on day 30. Especially when all I had to do was say “I did it! The end.” Naturally I wrote a post congratulating myself on finishing this thing (no longer applicable, so now you have this post), but then…
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Here. I Did Your Christmas/Hanukkah Shopping for You
Here are some of my favorites for this season. The links will take you right to the add-this-to-your-cart part of the site because you’re busy and I’m helpful. Happy shopping! [This is not a sponsored post. I have received no goods, services, cash or drugs. I just like this stuff and think it’s awesome, like…
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Deep Thoughts on Thanksgiving
I’m thankful my uncle pretends to blow my brother at family gatherings. And that my brother eggs him on by trying to put his tongue in his ear. And that ultimately no decent photos can be taken because they do this. I’m also thankful my 3yo cousin regularly moons the entire family – our legacy of…
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Mustaches, Man Health and Cash
Hey it’s Movember – there are teams and individual mustache growers everywhere raising awareness and money for mens’ health. Hooray! Anna and I are raising awareness only. But we donated money to Big Daddy Jason from The Life of JWo. He goes by that name in my mind only. You can join the party and support this…
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If I Ever Bust My Ass Like This I Hope I’m Wearing Chanel
I also hope I’m not wearing a thong. The only reason I don’t feel bad posting this is because I’m sure she recovered nicely on a yacht somewhere off the coast of France, and later attended the Vanity Fair party. Related articles Once upon a time…Chanel (fashionandfurther.wordpress.com) Karl Lagerfeld Shoots Chanel’s Cruise 2014 Campaign (fashiongonerogue.com)
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One of These Things Will Not Set You Free
Hey I read Aussa’s awesome post, and then immediately stole her idea, which she encouraged because she stole it from Jen at Sips of Jen and Tonic. I hope Jen stole it from someone else because then we can start a club. Anyway, welcome to the show. It’s called one of these things isn’t true. Guess…
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This Lady is Hot Shit
This is my grandmother. She’s one of my most favorite people on the planet. She paved the way for me. She paved the way for all the girls in our family. To rebel. To say what we think. To go to college. To go to Europe. To make a decision. To change our mind. To…
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How to Party with Your Ex-Husband
Invite these girls (the ones who dropped the dinner party mouth bombs)… And this lady… And these guys…(no flattering picture available – sorry Ben and Michael) And have a surprise birthday dinner party for this guy, the birthday boy, aka Anna’s dad… so this can happen… I’m so glad we’re still super buds… Divorced is…
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Dinner Party Mouth Bombs
This is why I love my friends. Here’s a random sample from last night: “Was that S&M Barbie?” “You didn’t say I couldn’t bring a midget, bitch.” “I was pulled out of the creek bed by a Hells Angel on more than one occasion.” “She’s a fly strip for drama.” “It smelled as good as…
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Vanity Fare
It started with this bedtime conversation my nine-year old daughter and I had recently. Anna: Mommy I weigh too much. I weigh like 70 or 80 pounds. My belly pokes out. It’s not flat like yours. [My heart sank and then I said what most parents say.] me: Anna you’re perfect just the way you are. If…
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That Girl at the Party Who Won’t Stop Talking
Yeah, that’s me thanks to NaBloPoMo. At Day 19, the logo looks like this in my mind: If this were a pageant instead of a writing challenge, and I won, my glittery sash would read: North American Blabbermouth Lady of Posting – Otherwise Miss Obnoxious. (Not National Blog Posting Month). But I’ve made it this far and I…
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