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I do not have weed in my freezer
I’m not into that, but I am into fresh herbs. This simple concoction of Italian parsley, thyme, rosemary (and garlic) makes everything taste like you care – hooray! Chop them finely, strain the parsley with cheesecloth, add salt and pepper and bread crumbs to keep it from getting soggy. Done. Prepping food is the most time…
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The only time finding money is bad
Laundry is peaceful for me. There’s an unspoken satisfaction in it – a loving task for my family. Clean clothes are hung in the appropriate closets, and others are properly folded and placed into the correct drawers. In my heart I silently sing: Beautiful people, you have all that you need; go forth and prosper!…
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How to be a superhero in one day
Raise your hand if this has happened to you: You know a birthday is coming up. You intend to send a card. The birthday comes and goes. You think: I can send a belated birthday card. Two more weeks pass. You think: now it’s too late to send a card. I’m an asshole. ******** I…
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When did feminism get so dumb?
What’s up with all the man-hating on the internet these days? Sure some men are fantastic assholes, but there are a lot of women assholes, too. I’ve met them, and I’d say the ratio is around 50:50. Men have not cornered the market on being jerks, and I think we could all stand a little…
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We need more raccoon cat rodeos and less bathroom corpses
I know this because Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess, told me so in her AWESOME book, Furiously Happy, which you should buy immediately. She makes mental illness really funny! That came out wrong but my instructions for this post were to “keep writing no matter what.” I already want to put this draft in the trash,…
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NaBloPoMo Day 11
Here’s me: Totally counts as a post, right? Love you – see you tomorrow! XO
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Drama Olympics
Welcome to the Drama Olympics
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“Finished” has multiple meanings
Por exemplo, to some people, “I’m finished” looks like this: To other people (me), this is the opposite of “finished.” This is more: the Chaos Gods will climb out of the earth and eat your soul if you leave it like this. I’m not saying one definition is right. I’m just objectivley noting that…
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Feline Fashion Week
Lounge on art, become art. -Olive
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Order of Seven
Holy shit – do y’all know Beth Teliho? Ask her for her autograph now because she’s going to be famous SOON. Like this famous: I read her novel Order of Seven last week and I was hooked from the first sentence! It’s a fantastic blend of mystery, adventure, and searching for one’s place in the world.…
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Overachievers have more sex
My fiance was going to visit his parents, sister and brother-in-law on Saturday. It’s a six-hour drive, Fridays are always a grind for him at work, and traveling in general stresses him out. Enter me, Princess Helpsalot. I got up extra early fully committed to making it the easiest trip in history. I framed some…
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How gross is your love?
I came across this list and I must know your opinions on the 11 Gross Signs That Your Relationship Has Reached It’s Peak Comfort Level. It’s only fair that I answer, too, so here, I’ll go first: 1. There’s no demanding need to shave. Um, yes there is. 2. You fart in front of each…
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Getting intimate with dolls for money
The best way to make money and edit personal space is to take naked pictures of dolls. I know. I’m a genius. It didn’t start out weird (says everyone right before being arrested) – Kit was fully dressed when I took the first photo… Household purges usually result in a trip to Goodwill, but I’ve recently made two…
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Survivor’s guilt…
After all that hoopla yesterday about getting laid off, I got the call from my VP at the end of the day saying I’m safe!!! I still have my job, my paycheck, my benefits, and my tacky little office. Yay!!! I also still have my team member, who is the most amazing cohort in crime anyone…
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Getting laid….off?
I’m sure you’ve all see the exciting news that Turner is laying off a giant chunk of its employees this week. This has prompted some worried texts, phone calls, DMs and e-mails from y’all. Firstly thank you for caring, kumbaya, and group hug. Secondly, we’ve all been aware of this upcoming chopping-block party for a while, so we’ve had plenty of time…
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Behind the Scenes at Petit Le Mans – Road Atlanta
All-access passes to anything cool usually don’t happen to me, BUT, since my brother is extra fabulous AND the Technical Inspector for IMSA -International Motor Sports Association, we spent Saturday at Petit Le Mans, which included the following: First lap goodness…so loud it makes your sternum vibrate – yay! A kick-ass pit stop… Patrick Dempsey (obligatory):…
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It’s time to even the score
The last two posts have featured helmet stickers for girls. This week’s are for all the awesome dudes out there. You defeat the lawn every week with heavy equipment, while sweating or freezing your balls off. Great job! You take out the trash, even when it smells like a monkey’s ass for no good reason and…
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More Helmet Stickers for Girls
You scoop or pick up dookie that isn’t human – you rock! You make food appear in the magic box in the kitchen – hooray! You work for a normal-sized boss during the day, and then work for one or more tinier bosses all night – way to go! You do nice things with the adult penis in your house – you’re the best! If…
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International You’re Wonderful Day 2014
I gave some pri-tee solid advice recently on how to prevent dudes from slipping and falling into other vaginas…and then realized I haven’t done the first one on the list lately. Shit! #1 reads as follows: tell your guy he’s wonderful – give specific reasons – how and why. If telling him is good…then putting it…
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Where were you last night?
Oh shit y’all. I went to my very first country music concert! SpecTACular people watching event. Did you know only girls wear cowboy boots now? I had no idea. Most of them were dressed like this: Some added their own flavor with sequins: Some added a calling card: And some were looking for a designated…
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