-
Tips (I said tip) for an Awesome Friday…at Work.
If you want to read something positive and helpful, this post is not for you. Read Tips for an Awesome Monday instead and then close the page. THIS post is for everyone else. F – Fuck it. Start with this attitude and lean on it as hard as you can for the entire day. R – Respond…
-
Helmet Stickers for Girls
I learned a very important piece of information about college football yesterday: boys get stickers for being good! AND they get to put them on their helmets so everyone knows how awesome they are! I LOVE stickers. But I’m not going to play football. So I made some for girls. Your hormones told you to murder…
-
#TBThursday: why leg warmers will always reign supreme
Because this video… Have an awesome Thursday, y’all! Love, Molly
-
Take it Off
I broke the fall with my hand. At my cousin’s house. At her kid’s birthday party. In broad daylight. File under: good embarrassing times. Here’s what was happening precisely 11 minutes before that happened: Specifically, “Heeeeeeey! Oh my gaahhhhhhd you’re here! I’m so glad you came!” We’re southern. After the fall, I sprang to my…
-
Be Careful What You Wish For…
I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions because historically I don’t keep them and I don’t need anything else to feel bad about mkay? However, I do take a minute to identify 10 things I would like to have more of in the new year. Note: rough notions like the ones below are dangerous. Turns out…
-
Chinese Dolls and Crazy Pills
Anna was waving the American Girl gift card in the air and losing her mind: I WANT TO GET MEGAN’S EARS PIERCED!!!! WILL YOU PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE TAKE ME TO THE AMERICAN GIRL STORE????? [Reaction inside]: [Reaction outside]: Of course – that’s a fabulous idea! I called American Girl to get the details. You know the deal: if…
-
Dirty Santa and the Hustler Bag
I was invited to the “Dirty Santa” party! The girl who invited me was someone I met at a meetup.com event. I know. But I’m a go-getter and I had just moved to Georgia from Los Angeles. When “make friends” is on my to-do list, I don’t mess around. I was going to that party and leaving with five phone numbers.…
-
Deep Thoughts on Thanksgiving
I’m thankful my uncle pretends to blow my brother at family gatherings. And that my brother eggs him on by trying to put his tongue in his ear. And that ultimately no decent photos can be taken because they do this. I’m also thankful my 3yo cousin regularly moons the entire family – our legacy of…
-
If I Ever Bust My Ass Like This I Hope I’m Wearing Chanel
I also hope I’m not wearing a thong. The only reason I don’t feel bad posting this is because I’m sure she recovered nicely on a yacht somewhere off the coast of France, and later attended the Vanity Fair party. Related articles Once upon a time…Chanel (fashionandfurther.wordpress.com) Karl Lagerfeld Shoots Chanel’s Cruise 2014 Campaign (fashiongonerogue.com)
-
Dinner Party Mouth Bombs
This is why I love my friends. Here’s a random sample from last night: “Was that S&M Barbie?” “You didn’t say I couldn’t bring a midget, bitch.” “I was pulled out of the creek bed by a Hells Angel on more than one occasion.” “She’s a fly strip for drama.” “It smelled as good as…
-
That Girl at the Party Who Won’t Stop Talking
Yeah, that’s me thanks to NaBloPoMo. At Day 19, the logo looks like this in my mind: If this were a pageant instead of a writing challenge, and I won, my glittery sash would read: North American Blabbermouth Lady of Posting – Otherwise Miss Obnoxious. (Not National Blog Posting Month). But I’ve made it this far and I…
-
When the Fruit Falls so Far it’s in Another Orchard
My room looks like this: Anna’s room looks like this: It’s the live-action version of Where’s Waldo? Seriously our bunny is in this pic. The first person to find Hugh wins. Meanwhile I’m going to clean this room and play: How-soon-will-I-need-Antibiotics?
-
My Little Brony – the Truth about Ponyville
There’s a whole group of “bros” out there obsessed with My Little Pony. Yes, the animated series made for tiny children about a unicorn pony named Twilight Sparkle who goes to the magical land of Ponyville to learn lessons about friendship. These full-grown men call themselves Bronies and “brohoof” each other. They also wear My Little Pony costumes and attend Brony…
-
The Impossible Dream – A New Musical About Work
This is what’s happening today if anybody says some stupid shit to me. Note: “stupid shit” means any words that aren’t spoken or written by me. Oh you want to know why so crabby, Princess Whineypants? My furnace-condenser-thingy is broken, I got into a texting duel with some lady who gave birth to me, my stupid cat…
-
Disney Loves Crossdressers
All the minions in Despicable Me are boys, which is why I LOVE LOVE LOVE that they’re in hula outfits and French maid costumes in the movie. Yay Disney! So progressive of them, no? Steve Carell is my Movie Boyfriend. I met him once. I’m sure he remembers. Disney drag queens to celebrity crushes – it’s what…
-
The Twisty Path of No.
You know how when you get a “no” to something really important you get all bitter-shitpissed about it? If you’re one of those wise and gentle souls who doesn’t lose their mind when they hear “no” please stop here or I’ll feel self-conscious the whole time you’re reading this post. Thanks. So you’re bitter-shitpissed about…
-
Runways are Fun.
This is how I feel trying to write a post tonight. If you’re not on this NaBloPoMo party train, you are MISSING OUT. Sleep and clean clothes are totally overrated.
-
10 Reasons I Shouldn’t be Hosting a Dinner Party for Six Fabulous Gay Boys Tonight.
1. My yard looks like this: 2. My driveway looks like this: 3. I just noticed this above my front door (and no, it’s not leftover Halloween decorations) 4. My deck looks like this: 5. My fireplace looks like this: 6. My dining room chairs like this: 7. Or this: 8. This is the only…
-
NaBloPoMo Day #7
Here’s me: I wish I knew who made this so I could credit them.
mollytopia.com 