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Why guys slip and fall into other vaginas
This is a compilation of what I’ve heard from guys over the years. Yours free of charge. Here’s how to avoid having your guy slip and fall into another vagina. 1. Tell him he’s wonderful – give him specific examples of how and why. 2. Suck his dick in the car, and make sure to…
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Why girls slip and fall on other dicks
This is a compilation of top complaints I’ve heard from girls over the years. Yours free of charge. How to avoid having your girl slip and fall on another dick. If you’re not going to show up, call and say you’re not going to show up. If you’re going to be late, call and say…
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Why You Should Have Sex Immediately.
I was floating around the pool sipping my boat drink thinking about sex, like I do, and my thoughts drifted to this specific question: why are women so powerful and outspoken in every area of their lives except their sexuality? This is on my mind for two reasons: 1. I read a fascinating article about…
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Stalking and Ransom Notes: the Key to Free Housing
Nothing will make me run to my keyboard faster than the chance to openly mock something stupid. In this case it’s millennial protesters stomping around San Francisco whining at tech employees and demanding $3 billion from Google. Specifically, they think the technology industry is turning everyone into slaves, and they want to shut it all down. But first they want Google to…
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Yes it can totally be too long.
But if you follow this awesome advice from smart researchy people it’s manageable. Win! Full disclosure: I didn’t read the whole article. Because it was too long. Oh, irony is beautiful. But not as beautiful as you. XO
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The Verdict on that Gang Murder
You already know what happened on the first day of the trial. Here’s what happened next. A detective testified they apprehended Defendants #1 and #2 in a car together. They found two .45 caliber handguns in the glove box. It was not the car used on the night of the murder. A ballistics specialist testified one of the…
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Striving to Sitwell
If you’re not familiar with this amazing woman/genius/poet, don’t feel bad. I wasn’t either until I read her quote yesterday, “I have often wished I had time to cultivate modesty.” What in the world??? I’m southern. Modesty is our birthright. You can’t be a lady without being modest. [OH HORSESHIT. You’re only recoiling because you…
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How to Crash Your Ex’s Wedding Without Leaving the House
Meet Alana. Saturday was her divorce party. It was also the day her ex-husband got remarried, and the day we discovered there was a mole at his wedding. Pedicures and manicures are awesome… They’re even more awesome when the wedding reporter joins you at the nail salon for the blow-by-blow. Naturally the scene began with a panic-stricken…
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Your Ticket to Board the Party Train
Alana’s divorce party starts at 6pm today and you’re invited. We’re celebrating the fact that her jackass ex can no longer ruin Date night Grocery store runs Christmas Vacations or mornings It took a long time to get from To But we’re all so glad she’s finally there. Meaning here. Which is perfect timing because…
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Culture, Coffee, Monk
If you need the interior of your private jet or Rolls Royce redone you should totally get in touch with Kenneth Justice from Culture Monk. True story. We met him last Saturday on his world coffee tour, and that was one of the many unexpected tidbits he shared with us. Atlanta was the first stop on his tour, which means we won…
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The Time I Said Yes to a Marriage Proposal Because I Needed A Ride
The proposer will be referred to as Cocaine Boy in this story, which may or may not be true depending on whether or not I receive a cease and desist letter. We were in my Myrtle Beach townhouse community pool and our conversation went like this: Him: Where do you want to go tonight? Me:…
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Here. I Did Your Christmas/Hanukkah Shopping for You
Here are some of my favorites for this season. The links will take you right to the add-this-to-your-cart part of the site because you’re busy and I’m helpful. Happy shopping! [This is not a sponsored post. I have received no goods, services, cash or drugs. I just like this stuff and think it’s awesome, like…
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Mustaches, Man Health and Cash
Hey it’s Movember – there are teams and individual mustache growers everywhere raising awareness and money for mens’ health. Hooray! Anna and I are raising awareness only. But we donated money to Big Daddy Jason from The Life of JWo. He goes by that name in my mind only. You can join the party and support this…
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This Lady is Hot Shit
This is my grandmother. She’s one of my most favorite people on the planet. She paved the way for me. She paved the way for all the girls in our family. To rebel. To say what we think. To go to college. To go to Europe. To make a decision. To change our mind. To…
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How to Party with Your Ex-Husband
Invite these girls (the ones who dropped the dinner party mouth bombs)… And this lady… And these guys…(no flattering picture available – sorry Ben and Michael) And have a surprise birthday dinner party for this guy, the birthday boy, aka Anna’s dad… so this can happen… I’m so glad we’re still super buds… Divorced is…
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Tips (I said tip) for an Awesome Monday
M – make someone feel as special as they are – tell them the top three reasons you’re happy they’re in your life. O – own the day by setting aside 15-60 minutes just for you – do anything that makes you smile. N – say “nope” to something you’d normally say yes to out of guilt…
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How to Pull a Dinner Party out of your Ass.
Specifically, a dinner party for six Fabulous Gay Boys. My house looked like this at 10am. If you ever find yourself in this situation, here’s what to do next. Sweep your driveway. Rake your yard (and then call your yard king in a panic because there’s no way you can bag the 10,947,832 leaves by hand…
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Public Service Announcement on that Cold Sore.
I am not a doctor, but this shit is true and it works. I used to get cold sores a lot when I was a kid, which is great fun when you’re already self-conscious and anxious. Thankfully someone shared this tip with me when I was in high school. I’ve only had one since then,…
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